I’m Tired

I’m tired.

I’m tired of being let down by officials who are supposed to be “serving” the public and only serve white supremacy.

I’m tired of people complaining that they can’t relate to a Black or female character in a game or movie because they “don’t look like me” when I’ve been expected to do the same with white male characters my whole life.

I’m tired of wondering when I step out of my door if I will get to walk back in again or if I’ll wake up when I go to sleep.

I’m tired of moderating my tone so I don’t sound angry and my words actually have a chance of being heard.

I’m tired of being told to calm down when I’m not upset or angry, just telling an inconvenient truth that someone doesn’t want to hear.

I’m tired of supposed allies not listening to what we ask them to do and doing what gets them more attention for saying and doing what we have all along.

I’m tired of movies or books or tv shows starring Black people being dismissed.

I’m tired of white people being given the benefit of the doubt when they fuck up royally but when a Black person is killed there is a rush to dig up every tiny thing they ever did in life to justify why they deserved it

I’m tired of issues that disproportionately affect marginalized populations being ignored unless or until they inconvenience or affect the male/white/able bodied/neurotypical/straight community.

I’m tired of having the Strong Black Woman™ or the Sassy Black Friend™ or the Funny Fat Girl™ or the Nerdy Robot™ be the only media representations of people who look like me.

I’m tired of hearing Social Justice Warrior being a slur.

I’m tired of “pro life” advocates who only give a shit about a fetus and won’t lift a finger to help after it’s born and an actual human.

I’m tired of terfs and racists and homophobic assholes and misogynists and religious extremists and “well meaning” assholes who stomp all over you and your boundaries and then cry about it when called out.

I’m tired of people decrying “cancel culture” as if their problematic fave won’t be back after an apology tour and the only people who ever actually get cancelled forever are the people that no one wanted to listen to anyway.

I’m tired of only seeing lighter skinned actresses getting the lead roles.

I’m tired of seeing social movements started by Black women get co-opted by white women who bastardize them and water down the message.

I’m tired of Black women and other marginalized genders being placed dead last in the public’s concern.

I’m tired of swallowing my rage.

I’m tired of feeling impotent.

I’m tired of being angry.

I’m tired of being scared.

I’m tired of being tired.