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This one’s going public today, because this is important.  I’ll make it up to my Patrons in a bit.  Promise.

Right, I know you all have seen me talk, rant about and refer to bullshit surrounding Zak S, Zak Sabbath, Zak Smith, whatever the fuck he calls himself, before.

And you know how I always say that someone who is an asshole in one way, well that’s rarely the only way in which they’re an asshole?

Zoldemort’s ex, Mandy Morbid, outed him as an abuser.  Publicly.  Specifically.  Including, but not limited to, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, and a whole raft of other excreble behavior.  Two other women they dated as a couple back her up and share their own stories of abuse.

I BELIEVE HER.

I believe her, and I have her back.

She doesn’t know me.  We’ve never met.  The only interaction we ever had online was ages ago…

I will not lie to you.

I come from a family that views grudge holding as a sport, and an art. I try really hard not let not forgetting that someone has fucked me over crawl over that incredibly fine line into a grudge.

These two things are not the same thing.

Forgive and Forget is stupid advice.

Because if someone hurts you, betrays your trust, or harms others in a way that reveals them to be untrustworthy, or maybe not real cautious of others’ boundaries and/or personhood, it is a good idea to keep that in mind.

I tend to hold them at arm’s length ever after, which just makes sense from a harm reduction perspective.

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” ~ Maya Angelou

The problem is that our society, particularly when it comes to dudes, seems to think that forgiving someone means pretending that…