By now if you follow me you have heard the accusations made against Zak Smith/Sabbath by his former girlfriend Mandy Morbid. I believe her. I have spent the majority of my time in the gaming community dodging him and his attention online, having seen the harassment, brigading, and doxxing he can command against those who… Continue reading Resources for Survivors
I’ve been told, as I’m sure others have been told before me and others will continue to be told after me, that I’m a “valuable” and “important” voice in the TTRPG “community” but I’m not entirely sure that’s entirely true beyond a certain extent. Let me unpack why a little. Whenever I’ve been invited to… Continue reading Waiting to… be
Have you ever looked at a project and asked yourself "how did their friends let them do this? Didn't they talk to anyone?" Most of us want to help our friends with their projects and passions. If a buddy comes to us and asks if we'll write or draw or whatever, our instinct is to… Continue reading When Telling a Friend “No” (and Why) is the Kindest Option
This one’s going public today, because this is important. I’ll make it up to my Patrons in a bit. Promise.
Right, I know you all have seen me talk, rant about and refer to bullshit surrounding Zak S, Zak Sabbath, Zak Smith, whatever the fuck he calls himself, before.
And you know how I always say that someone who is an asshole in one way, well that’s rarely the only way in which they’re an asshole?
Zoldemort’s ex, Mandy Morbid, outed him as an abuser. Publicly. Specifically. Including, but not limited to, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, and a whole raft of other excreble behavior. Two other women they dated as a couple back her up and share their own stories of abuse.
I BELIEVE HER.
I believe her, and I have her back.
She doesn’t know me. We’ve never met. The only interaction we ever had online was ages ago…
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I will not lie to you.
I come from a family that views grudge holding as a sport, and an art. I try really hard not let not forgetting that someone has fucked me over crawl over that incredibly fine line into a grudge.
These two things are not the same thing.
Forgive and Forget is stupid advice.
Because if someone hurts you, betrays your trust, or harms others in a way that reveals them to be untrustworthy, or maybe not real cautious of others’ boundaries and/or personhood, it is a good idea to keep that in mind.
I tend to hold them at arm’s length ever after, which just makes sense from a harm reduction perspective.
“When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” ~ Maya Angelou
The problem is that our society, particularly when it comes to dudes, seems to think that forgiving someone means pretending that…
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